Where to begin?

Now I know its "bad luck" to disclose this information before the end of the first trimester, but lets be real - this scenario calls for immediate moral support.

I guess once the news was in my head, dancing around and knocking things over I was left wondering where to begin to process this information. I knew that I didn't want to share it with a lot of people, but that my system also requires input from my resources.

I made an immediate decision that night to call two couples to whom I'm closest to share the news, as well as one person who has known me longer than any non-childhood friend. It wasn't so much that I thought they'd have something to say at that particular juncture, but I wanted to give them the brief history of the situation so they could be prepared to discuss it with me in the near future.

A "heads-up" if you will.

So Friday night I told those 5 people I felt needed to know.

Saturday morning, I went to my mothers and told her and my step-father.

Saturday afternoon, I called my dad.

Saturday night, I told my sister.

So as the weekend came to a close, My closest circle was informed.

Then there is the second level of people in my life that I felt I needed to talk to, get opinions from and generally include in my dialogue. This included my work friends (about 3) and my professional mentors (about 3). It also included 3 or 4 friends that have become very important parts of my life.

Lets be honest, in the months leading up to this, I'd dated a few women. At the time the news broke, I wasn't seeing anyone else, but I still felt that I owed them an explanation. Maybe I didn't owe them anything, but was just selfishly wanting to avoid looking like an asshole. Maybe I was arrogantly trying to protect their feelings. So there is another 3 or 4 people.

Over the following week, I needed to tell both sets of grandparents as well as my one uncle and one aunt.

There you have it - in the world of Jonathan Louis May, approximately 25 people need to hear breaking news in order for me to have established a foundation of support. These were largely the same people I'd turned to with my divorce, and they are all uniquely suited to provide support in one way or another.

More than I'd like? Sure. But this is who I am, and this is my process, and this is what it is.

The idea of diving into fatherhood facing two scenarios is frightening and I wanted to get all my support lined up as quickly as possible. Perhaps this is classic over-thinking. All I can say is that I'm blessed to have friends and family who are ready, willing and able to support me and I sent up a flare.

Their response has been overwhelming. and for that I'm most grateful and relieved.